I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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