It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
