just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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