I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
