Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
