The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
