I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
