I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
