I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
