Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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