In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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