I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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