Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
