I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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