Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
