so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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