Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
