Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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