she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
