just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
