Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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