Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
