Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
