Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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