Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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