i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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