Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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