I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
