Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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