I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
