do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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