My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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