Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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