I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
