What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
