I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
