She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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