All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
