that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
