worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
