I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
