butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
