didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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