In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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