The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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