When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So many bounce houses so little time
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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