I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
