so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had sex on a roof
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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