I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
