we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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