I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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