you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
