She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
