you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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