you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize