Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
