how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
