what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
