I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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