you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
