Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
