I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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