I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
