areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't deserve a penis
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
