Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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