I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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