the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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