I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
