I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize