the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
