Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
