your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
being pregnant is like rehab
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
