If that was your dad, he is hot
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
