So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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