so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
