He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
