Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
