a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
