well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize